Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Mud Fish Story

Let me narrate to you a story of a little boy named Reynaldo.

The river runs quietly, the water flows so sweet. The flashing of the water at the river basin is music to a gentleman's heart. The humming of the birds is like a flute played in the sky adorned with the strumming of the water flowing by the river. Children's are busy playing. Their laughter's are sign's of joy and contentment.

"I still remember those memories of my childhood. Memories filled with joy and laughter. The memories that will never be forgotten. I still remember those days when my eyes twinkles and my heart pounds heavily with excitement that somehow a friend drops by. It means I am free again from the bondage of life cruelties and challenges of a young boy. It means I am able to join the chorus of children filling the air with their giggles and laughter."

"I remember the mud fish that i used to play given by my childhood best friend. I remember him handling it over to me one afternoon placed in a jar of water with a plant. I remember him handling it over to me for keepsake. I also remember that it will be the last after I will ever saw my best friend nor play hide and sick or tumbang preso."

Those are cherished moments of young Reynaldo's life. Growing up to be the weakest amongst its siblings. Growing up to be the weakest in class. Growing up to be the dark horse of life competition. However, this has made him a more stronger Reynaldo as he was criticized and mocked in his growing up years.

Year after year, Reynaldo is winning every battle Life has to offer him. Year after year he learns to be happy despite obstacles.

Life has thought young Reynaldo to be stronger. His heart hardened. His priorities are up for battle. He exudes strong personality. Everyone knows him stone hearted person. Life has thought him not cry or show weakness despite hardship. Life has thought him to hide the feelings he has towards anything else. He never cry in funerals despite all that no one has dared to see him in the inside. He has loved secretly. He had relationships that prosper.

His love has made him even stronger. It was the only thing that has been pushing him through. It was the kind of thing that has secretly made him a better person.

No matter how strong Reynaldo was, the time has come for him to face his biggest challenge... The time that life has been preparing him. It was his final moments, tears rolling down his cheek as he finally draws his last straws of breath. Until his final moments he is still wishing to see his best friend one last time.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Charlton - Of Love and Friendship

"Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by the heart." is an inspirational quote that I came across when browsing the internet during lazy Friday evening at the office.

At first I thought it was a simple words coined together to come up with a definitive definition of the most controversial word of all time called love. Well, I call it controversial because it has its own definition depending on the feeling and mere existence of LOVE in someone else hypothalamus.

I call it controversial because it is too powerful to define someone else's feeling or to bond different personalities as one. Worst it can be one great reason to subjugate two very strong relationship into two.

I still remember the first time when I felt this strange feeling. Strange that I myself can never explain. The inspiration it brings and the different sensation brought about by the different delightful sensation from within. It was a magical experience. There was magic in love that turns every dark sides into one magical moments of fountains and fireworks, it was a beautiful experience.

I had several of this moment where I consider it as the joyous moments of my life and every time I am in this situation I am always reminded by a Basil Valdez song. Love gives hope to give you the strength to carry on. Love pushes me up in every moment when I am about to give up.

You give me hope,
The strength, the will to keep on;
No one else can make me feel this way
And only you
Can bring out all the best I can do;
I believe you turn the tide
And make me feel real good inside.

You pushed me up
When I'm about to give up;
You're on my side when no one seems to listen
And if you go,
You know the tears can't help but show
You'll break this heart and tear it apart;
Then suddenly the madness starts...

But, what if the love you felt is not mutual. What if the person you cared can only offer friendship? What if he/she cant give the most of what you've been wishing for. Will you ever continue loving that person the same way you did when you are in that magical moment of infatuation. When you are in the moment with no rain but the sky is filled with rainbows and glittering magical clouds. When everything to you is magic. When you are in the moment of day dreaming.

Will it shatter every dreams, aspirations and hopes during those "you thought it can work" moments. When you are denying that it can never happen despite sweet noting messages.

Will it ever change the someone else's feelings and pursue that once upon a time bed time story when they'd exchange shoe. Will this one-sided love affair be eradicated and removed from everyone's vocabulary and option when a chance to exchange shoe has been done.

I came across David Slater's song entitled Exchange of Heart and made me wonder if this will ever happen, will it make a difference? if this happens to you (AN EXCHANGE OF HEART) will you really know why he or she had loved you in the first place and will it make a difference if he/she had known the reason for loving you.

If we had an exchange of hearts
Then you'd know why I fell apart
You'd feel the pain when the mem'ries start
If we had an exchange of hearts...

If there was no such thing as Exchange of Hearts then should you have wished that you were the one being loved and not the other person. How unfortunate it could get if by any chance the only man/woman you wanted to share this unconditional and magical thing called love happens to be the person you've treated as your best friend. 

Paano na kaya, 'di sinasadya
'Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko
Bakit sa dinami-rami ng kaibigan ko ikaw pa
Paano na kaya 'di sinasadya
Ba't nahihiya ang puso ko
Hirap nang umibig sa isang kaibigan
'Di masabi ang nararamdaman
Paano na kaya

Or what if you would know that your best friend whom you treated as a sibling is unfortunately looks at you differently. Will you reconsider what you feel and love him back more than best friend. It happens sometimes that from best friends but what if you love someone else should you just wished them that they could find the love their suppose to be getting?

Wish I could be the one 
The one who could give you love 
The kind of love you really need 
Wish I could say to you 
That I'll always stay with you 
But baby that's not me 
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you 
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do 
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need 
But that would be a lie 
I know I'd only hurt you 
I know I'd only make you cry 
I'm not the one you're needing 
I love you, goodbye 

The desire of someone else's hypothalamic emotional roller coaster between the differentiation of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP is simply too heart breaking, more so, if you are hoping something else should have happened but it simply did not materialized to a desirable outcome. When finally you've come to a point of not surrendering but of course to have that realization of letting go. The reconciliation of one heart shattered into pieces mending it together to be whole. Just give yourself that ONE LAST CRY to finally let go everything. You can only have that one last cry when you've finally learned that the chance is over. That the love youve been wishing for has finally come to an end. That moment when you are no longer hoping.

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry


I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to bring on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry